I screwed up! I have been married for 24 years to the most beautiful person in the world and I screwed up with an affair. I'm not here to justify my actions but I believe you have to tell your partner that you love them on if not a daily basis, then everyother day. She did not.Maybe that was her way. I had asked her a thousand times to show me some affection, to hold me, but it didn't happen. I was always the one to give a hug, or give a kiss, or initiate intimacy. Again this doesn't justify my actions but I hurt! Now, I lost everything, my heart is dead. Please help me.
I understand the feeling of loss...but my wife cheated on me. I'm sorry your hurting...we were only married for 5 years but she and my children were my world, now she is using my little darling daughters to try hurt me..it's working, but it's working because I see my kids hurting and in turn it hurts me. She left me for a guy that has money, we lost everything and so I understood why he seemed like a good option,but he beats her and she has turned to me twice now to help. He and she are drinking 24-7 and I've been told by a friend of theirs they are doing speed and cocaine, oh yer he has a gambling problem and there is not much money more debt and he has threatened to kill me,the kids and my father...look at my post and you will see what else I'm dealing with.if you need to talk let me know
Dannor, So sorry this has happened to you. I'm sure everyone here would tell you people make mistakes. SO many of us are heartbroken because someone hurt us and walked out on us and never looked back. And here you are, so in grief over the mistake you've made. I, for one, would have given my husband another chance if he'd asked for one. I do believe people have to be given another chance. So, is it possible your wife is that kind of a person too? You're saying you lost everything. Are you still trying to reach out to her for forgiveness? Sometimes it has to take time and never-ceasing effort to earn that forgiveness. You're also saying you lacked affection from her. Knowing what the roots of the problem are is a good start for counseling, or establishing some connection, the beginnings of mutual understanding. I can't believe that after 24 years of being together, it would have to end at something so stupid and unnecessary as this. I hope your wife sees that too. How long has it been since this happened? Is it possible she's too angry right now and needs time alone to assess everything with a cooler head?