Divorce Support Forums: Please help in Ohio

My wife has a boyfriend and wants a divorce. She is being very untruthfull about the relationship wit him for a long time. His name has been linked to long phone call to my wife for about 2 years. I intercepted som e-mails that profess love for each other. He is also married. My wife seens to do whatever possible to keep any discomfort from comming to this man. We have been together for 19 years. She has said some very hurtfull things blaming me for everything but the war in Iraq. We have a son who just turned 18. He has Cerebral Palsy and it requires both of us and a home health aide to care for him on a daily basis. With the exception of my work schedule I am the only one who could handle the care physically by myself. I have not been the ideal husband infact I was a pretty big ass. I think I took for granted too much. I displayed a mean temper and would say hurtful things to people. I have been going to therapy for a year now and I am making progress. My wife even says I have improved. First of all I do not want to be divorced. I do not want to be a partime care giver to my son. My wife has mentioned putting him in a group home. He is his own person but one or both of us should be his guardian. A home of any type for my son is out of the question. He will go to scholl til he is 22. My wife is very mad and wants the divorce she is saying hurtful things to my son also. IS there any way to keep us together till my son turns 22 and is done with school. We have been co exsisiting for the past couple of years we can continue.
I have asked her to go to counseling but she says no. Can you offer any advise? what is the longest time I can delay a divorce.

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