Divorce Support Forums: I dont see any way..

hi all,

I have been married for a while to a man who was everything that I wanted-- good looking but more imporrtantly seemed really loyal, solid, able to provide, etc. Anyways unfortunatley after we'd b een married a while he began to act more controlling, not anything outragous but I just felt like he had to be in charge of everything, and would act kind of intimidating, nothing I could put my finger on specifically, if he didnt like soemthing. We have a son and since last year I started getting depressed after an incident that he made me have relations with him, that was the only time he did that, but it affected me, he became physically abusive, on several occasions, two of them were 'minor'- but around the end of the year there was an incdient where he became enraged and punched, slapped and this is the only time it evr happened of insisting I have relations with him. After that time I have felt somewaht depressed. I told him this but he just dismissed it. I dont want to get help apart from him because he said not to, dont need to spend the money, all I need to do is get my nails done or buy a new dress, etc. .
I dont see any way really to change things, he is in law enforcement and has alot of friends connected in that, etc. He doesnt abuse me every day or anything ike that, it is just sporadic, every few months or even just once or twice a year. I justt try to avoid him when he's in a mood or if I cant avoid him I try to just go along with what he wants, but this has started making me more depressed. If he wasnt in his job that he is, I might be more willing to try and seperate temporarily from him to see if he'll get help..but once I did mention that I didnt want to live this way, he just looked at me hard and said 'dont try anything funny..i know where all the shelters are at'
My son is getting a little older and I dont want him to be exposed to this, although somehow my husband has been able to control himself and only abuse me when we're alone or he's sure he's not around or in earshot
I dont read of others who are married to police with this problem. I actually know a lady in our area, my sister's friend and her husband is a police officer, as far as I know they dont have this problem, but who knows, I spose they could and I just dont know...

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