Divorce Support Forums: what a fool i am

You have tried to use the system to get something you wanted, and allowed to convince him of what you wanted, to the point where you were willing to do the wrong thing according to the law. I mean, in dropping the restraining order and the prosecution, you had to tell them that it was all exaggerated, or something similar, didn't you?

I get so frustrated when a woman does this, becasue at some point the people in the system won't know whether she's telling the truth when she says he beat her, or whether she's telling the truth when she says it never happened.

Next time, call police and get a restraining order ONLY if he has done somethign threatening. Don't let him break the restrining order just to wine & dine & bribe you (and if you really were afraid of him, you'd not have spent this much time with him over the weekend, so he's probably right, you probably did NOt need a restraining order). And if it's just an issue of you wanting him out of the house, file for divorce & temporary orders giving you the house & keeping him out.

No dismissing crimes just because you love him. You have children to think about. if you were being truthful in the first instance and he had been violent & you feared more violence, then you are wrong to have let him near you again. If you were being reasonable in letting him near you, then you should not have gotten the restraining order in the first place.

The ultimate result is that the restraining order is gone and hopefully you are safe. Your next move is to file for divorce without using a restraining order as a tactic to get him out or squeeze a better settlement out of him. If he is not violent and you are willing to let him come around & talk to you & the kids all weekend, then don't think of restraining orders, but rather think of just filing the divorce paperwork & doing it the right and calm & NON-threatening way.

And next time someone is violent with you or any loved one, don't let them weasel out of the criminal consequences by promising love. Love is not a good enough reason to take back a man who is scary out of control violent.

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