Is the real reason you want to delay the divorce the care of your son or that you just don't want to let go of your wife? If your son is getting that difficult and you need to work and your wife does not want to care for him anymore maybe a group home is the answer....you son may benefit from this as the staff are trained to work with him and take care of his needs and to keep him as independent as they can. You could still take him home with you on the weekends but it would give you the time to get over your wife and your marriage and to move on...this would be better for you and probably better for your son...it sounds like your marriage is very dysfunctional and if your wife is turning her anger on your son that is not good...I realize this is hard but isn't staying together going to be even harder...how are you going to deal with her being with this other man? Do you want to be room-mates? I think you need to think of yourself and your son and forget about your wife...it seems she has forgotten about you and your son already and moved on...good luck...