Divorce Support Forums: am i over reacting?

She is his wife. She deserves to be supported by him (and him by her) until the divorce is over, and that includes insurance. She may not like that he's living with someone else and I don't blame her. You moved a little quickly in moving in before he was divorced. I understand that there were probably a whole lot of reasons for you wanting to move in together and thinking it was a great idea, as between the two of you, but for his WIFE, your presence creates a sordid situation that she probably doesn't want in her family, so of COURSE she is saying things against you.

And if there is the slightest possibility that he might want to get back together with her, it's not a good idea for you to be there, cluttering up his mind on whether or not he can freely go back to his wife, who is the mother of his children.

I don't mean to get all judgmental on you, but I want you to see what SHE (and probably a whole lot of others) see about this. You're an adult and so it should not be a surprise to you that a man who is married might have a wife who objects to him living with and supporting a different woman who he is not married to, has no children with, and who has no job to support herself.

If you want me to be "supportive" rather than giving you a reality check, then let me try... OK... I don't think I can reassure you that he won't want to get back together with her. He might want to. Look at all the guys on here who have been treated like dirt and would go back for more if their stbxs would take them back... Your presence there complicates his decisionmaking process on this, and any word you say negative about her will make you look bad, not like the sweet bit of paradise and escape from the madness that he needs to have when he gets home. Whatever lies she tells about you, if he doesn't know the truth and doesn't ask you to confirm or deny what she's said, then recognize that he's not exactly working to defend you here, and maybe he does not intend to do so.

Your demanding that he do that might cause him to pull from you.

Look, he's left one difficult situation, why would he want to get into a new one. Be the calm in teh storm. Do like Golightly advises & stop worrying about his past, about her, don't try to compete with her. If he's still with ehr or going to be, then that's not something you can control... and if you try to control it what will happen is that you'll push him into it... by being the person he does NOT need you to be right now.

I know this was harsh to hear, but he just MIGHT NOT be ready to move forward with you, and you'd be better off planning for that possibility than in running through your trust fund & finding yourself destitute & on the streets at the end of it.

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