Divorce Support Forums: Can we still work things out????

Hello Everyone!

I have read so many of your posts and learned so much from all of your experiences. I guess it is finally my turn to post. I need you guys.

I don’t know if I will be making the biggest mistake of my life. Here is the story.

I dated my husband for 2 years and have been married for 2. He is currently stationed in Italy and I am in CA. A couple of months ago he sent me a text saying he didn’t love me anymore and he wanted a divorce. By this time I had already packed all the household good stuff and was 3 days away from the movers to come pick everything up so they could ship it to Italy. I was supposed to come to Italy on military orders soon after.

His attitude then was dry, cold, detached, cruel... You name it. I was in shock. How can beautiful marriage just turn into a horrible nightmare? I tried talking to him, asked what can we do to fix things? If I could come to see what we could do to make it work? If he wanted time or space to think things over? Counseling?…. And, nothing! He wanted out, the faster, the better.(No cheating on his part) I never wanted to leave him, however I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t love me. So, I said fine go ahead and file. By this point I was thinking he had war related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). But if he didn’t want any help, there was nothing I could so. There was nothing no one could.

A couple of months later….

I talked to him and told him, I’m ready to move on with my life. I am sick and tired of this, so you either let me come to Italy and go to counseling together and get to the bottom of this OR you send my car and my stuff back home (CA). File for divorce NOW. I forget about you. You forget about me and we each move on with our lives. I am seriously tired of all this non-cense and childish behavior. If he was so eager to file for divorse why hadn't he done so???

He said he was afraid to keep hurting me if we couldn't work things out, but after a long conversation he said to come to Italy for an X amount of time (a week, a month, a year?). I guess it depends on how well things go. That we would go to therapy and try to solve things out, but no promises on is part. I also said; no promises on mine. But I will give it my best.

What do I do? I know that I am not going to be coming to my gorgeous, handsome, loving husband. He has hurt me as well, so I don't think I can be the same with him, for now. I know that things might not work out and that in a couple of months I might end up in square one again, yet there is also a chance that things will work out, and this time for good. He is whilling to work things out and I am too. I do love him. I never stopped loving him and I am so proud of him for serving our country and he knows that.

Please yell, scream, slap me…. Anything it takes to help me wake me up and realize if I could be heading for disaster.

And.... if things work out between us.... all of you are invited to a party in Italy. But... if things don't.... then I guess you guys will be stuck with me for a while. LOL!

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~Vanessa.

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