Divorce Support Forums: Just found evidence wife is cheating, what next?

Just wanted to give an update. Before I read the replies that reading her email was illegal this morning, I found her "Trash" box in her email, and got all the in & out email since August. Appears they have been having sex for at least 4 months now, 1 to 2 times a week! Her emails mention how she is continually making it look like she is trying and setting me up to fail by getting into arguments in front of my parents , neighbors and friends, to make me look like it's my fault she filed for divorce. (she hasn't as of yet).
We are setting up counseling, going to a new counselor.
I think they may know I know, because they probably saw the time her account was last logged on, and she was at work then and couldn't possibly have been her. Also, her Sent email box is wiped clean now (still in the Trash link though :-) Also, she was arguing with me this morning, still trying to set me up, so maybe they don't know...... Perhaps he is reading this message board (Hi Terry, having a good time??) and that is how he knows??? Emails suggest that things were shakey for a while back with him & his wife, but things were great now.
I came home from visiting a neighbor's house last night, and she was crying on the phone, then hung up. She said she was talking to her out-of-state mom about their family issues. Then, email I read she sent last night said "I don't know if you heard me when I hung up because I was choked up, but I love you", so I know she was talking to him. Online phone record shows it is an area code her Mom lives in though... maybe he's got a phone rigged to make it look that way or something. Her email also said she wants to meet him to talk about everything maybe Thursday (while I'm @ work), and still wants to go to that course with him (their "getaway") 3 weekends from now.
I have started doing some of the preparations you have been suggesting as ideas, lining things up, but am holding off on the attorney right now to see how counseling goes, because, besides being cheaper to keeper, she was a good women that i really loved, but maybe didn't show it enough, but mainly because of the kids, I can hold this over her forever, I'll have a 4-month kitchen pass to go screw anyone I want, and it is cheaper to keeper (just kidding!). So, hopefully they do know I know, and have split up, and she'll have no motivation to file now, because any mental cruelty charge would be cr ap, now that I know she was forcing me to act in a cruel way when she was "trying to set me up".
I am the very involved parent too. I am their head soccer coach, go to all the school functions as a family, chaperone the school trips, help them with homework, etc. All the kids friends and me are all like buddies, they all want to hang out with me and my boys at our house.
Oh ya, Monday she went for a "treatment", and Tuesday morning I found her DNA-soaked panties laying on the bathroom floor.... How's THAT for evidence??? Got that nasty thing saved!

-Marital Future Still Up in the Air in NJ

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