You have totally lost me, which isn't hard to do at times. I thought you were living in Colorado, as that is the forum you posted on. You now state you are in PA.
If you have a lawyer, what does he/she say? Sounds like, thanks to your wife's inaction, you are limited to what can be done within a given period of time. I however have no legal training and can't advise you what can or can't be done.
It is just plain evil what some people do or don't do during a divorce. Maybe another, more knowledgable poster will respond.
They most likely will need to know where you filed for divorce, if you are in PA, but posting on the CO board. What state your wife lives in...just some general information that comes to mind.