Divorce Support Forums: After 17 years of no communication...

I've learned that there is still no communicating with my soon to be ex. Hello to everyone, I was hoping not to have to post my sob story but I have learned quite a bit here and I thank you for that.

I live in NC and have been married, a homeschooling SAHM for 17 years. I still homeschool my 16yo son, my other two stepchildren lived with their mom during their school years and with us the rest of the time. They are like my children and consider me to be the good parent. Unfortunately their mom and dad (my STBX) didn't do the greatest job with them.

My STBX is an alcoholic...when we split he was drinking 8-12 beers a night every night and more at times. He said he never drank when he was driving but he did pop 2-3 on the hour drive home; I found the cans in my car when we'd switch for some reason. He was a mean drunk but in a very quiet way, no arguing, when he got bad I sent him to his room to play his mandolin or we would just get away from him. It was known in our house not to talk to him after 7pm. He was a very high functioning Alchie.

I finally called it quits after he embarrassed our exchange student one night. Poor kid could not figure out why this drunk guy was breathing beer fumes down his neck muttering insults while he was playing PC games. Everything just came to a head...so I asked him if he'd stop or go to counseling...no to both, so a few months later I asked him to leave.

So we were married 17 years...we had discussed me going back for job training or school when my 16 got in high school, then he might be able to cut down his work or maybe retire if I made enough.

Divorce is on the horizon so now I'm now in college going for a masters so I can get a job in 3 years, I just started.

I have asked for spousal support for 4 years...he makes 85K, I make nothing; I school my son and do Guardian Ad Litem work and I'm a Teen Court judge, these two programs have given me good job experience, I just need the credentials to go with it to get a job...no one wants a 30 years old BA.

We are trying to settle out of court...he refuses to give me 1400 for 4 years and 850 in CS for 16yo. He will graduate at 19 because he has always been a year behind. STBX wants him to just go and get a GED. My son is very insulted. There is more but Blah, blah, blah...it doesn't really matter.

I need 1400 for four years, (married 17 in NC) and 850 for son until he graduates in 3 years.

Does this seem to follow the law? My lawyer says yes, but he's my lawyer....he wanted me to ask for more.

I'm also going to give my STBX some land, about 5-10 acres to be nice....he acts like I owe him. Again, my lawyer sez I'm being too nice...I just want it to be over.

Any opinions or advice appreciated, cheeps

Oh PS, he doesn't want to pay me anything except CS 750 until son turns 18 and 1250 for me for a year. He says his job is volatile...I came up with a formula that would go with that but he ignored it. Should I even consider that again?

Edited by cheeps (11/11/07 11:58 PM)

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