Divorce Support Forums: Father is bad mouthing me in front of child

2.5 years to get finalized? OUCH!

I'm newer to the fun and games of divorce, and I deal with the "Daddy says...." statements, too. Sounds like Dad bit his toungue and followed the advice of the attorney to "take the high road" during the proceedings, but now that things are final, all bets are off.

Part of me believes that once that innocence is taken with that type of thing, it is going to be impossible to reclaim. I find myself restating the behavioral expectations at MY house after each visit with Dad. It's fairly effective, and helps to explain that different people are going to have different expectations of her as she grows older.

There are things that YOU can do to allow her the opportunity to express her negative feelings appropriately without dismissing the validity of them. She might not have the words to wrap around her feelings, but that is a role where you can assist in putting names to them, just like you taught words like cup, fork and spoon!

I recommend a book "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk." Authors are Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. We can't forget that kids are human, too, need to identify their emotions. It doesn't happen by accident.

With or without counseling for either of you, acknowledge that there is always an opportunity for Mom to grow, too. :)

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