Divorce Support Forums: I don't know what to do

My husband and I separated in June but have been trying to work it out. We each have our own place, and share custody of our four yr old. It has had it's ups and down. We started "dating" again and going to couples counseling in September. The counseling has been tough. I can't quite get over the past and all the F&*%ed up things he has done/said. I know I can't ever be happy with him until I accept his apology. He has apologized and wants to move forward but in the back of my mind I keep thinking, he's going to keep doing the same s&*.
We moved out to AZ to be closer to his family and so he could finish grad school. I stayed home and watched our daughter and finally went back to get my bachelors degree last year. I have no family here, very little friends. No one to talk to or call if I have a bad day. I tried to talk with my ex but he told me he can't be there for me, that he doesn't know what I want.
I don't know if I am being super vague about asking him to be there for me and be a shoulder I can lean on, it doesn't seem to vague to me, pretty specific, but it's like I am speaking another language.
Is he just using me for sex and blowing off the relationship aspect of being together?
Can I move forward in a relationship if I can't call him and talk about my day?
Every day I feel like it's getting worse and now counseling has just gotten horrible. We're fighting and it's like talking to a person who has no ears. He tells me he can only see me on the weekend, and during the week he doesn't want to think about us.
We're still married but I just can't take this anymore. I know it's unrealistic to expect us to be all good after a few months, but I can't help but feel that we aren't moving forward just moving in circles.
I don't know what to do now. This separation thing is so hard, I want to either be together or move forward but I feel like I am stuck.

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