Divorce Support Forums: Hello Everyone....My Story and Some Questions....

I was reading some of the other posts and thought I would introduce myself and tell my story. I am 33 years old and I have been married for 8 years. Ok, here is my situation in a nutshell -

I have...

* an extremely overbearing mother-in-law
* a husband who is controlled by his mother and is extremely whipped by her (he lived at home with his folks until age 42 and she basically wipes his ass for him!!!!)
* a husband who has taken me for granted for most of the marriage
* a husband who has not wanted to deal with anything for several years

Also, I help run a business in which I have put my heart and soul into for the last 7 years - MIL owns and reminds me of this every time I see her.

I have not had much of a life except for working my ass off and then going home. Hubby would even pout and fuss when my girlfriends would ask me to meet them for coffee!!

Mother-in-law has interfered in our marriage ever since we have been together. I found out about a month ago from hubby that mother-in-law has NEVER liked me and that she and hubby's father begged him not to marry me. I am sure one of the factors was because he had lived at home for so long and they had gotten elderly and needy by the time he decided to get married. Also, I was not wealthy when hubby met me and his parents wanted him to marry a wealthy woman - to take care of his ass no doubt!

Hubby is a bit lazy and expects everyone else to do things for him. I have been caught in that trap for several years. And don't get me started on intimacy - NONE WHATSOEVER IN ALMOST TWO YEARS.

I have begged hubby several times to go to marriage counseling with me and he just tells me that "mom will have to be there too". I said "well that is ok the therapist would probably put her in her place anyway!". I never did get him to go to counseling.

About three years ago I began to feel I wanted to leave the marriage but every time I would change my mind thinking "well things will get better". We even started going to church and I thought surely that would help strengthen the relationship. It didn't.....

On top of all that, hubby and I have been living with my mother-in-law for the last 5 years! The reason at first was legitimate. His father was dying of cancer and she needed our help with him. I told hubby that was fine because I knew he wouldn't live very long at that time. In fact hubby promised me that we would "only live with her for 6 months at the most". HA - that 6 months has turned into 5 years!!! I have begged him to go with me to at least look at apartments to no avail. Hell I even told him I would live in low-income apartments just for us to have our own space and privacy back.

Things have just deteriorated in the last 5 years........... A few months back I told my parents that I wanted to leave hubby and I had even began to move my personal belongings to my parents home.

Then, about a month ago the final stab in my heart - my father suffered a heart attack and actually died 4 times and hubby did not go with me that night NOR did he even come to the hospital AT ALL to be with me my family. There was NOTHING stopping him except for his mother. In fact that night when I got the call about my dad hubby's mother asked him to come talk to her for a min and when I got ready to go I asked him if he was going to go with me and he had the strangest look in his face and told me that "maybe I should just go." Also, he never even came or even called my parents until he showed up on Thanksgiving. As far as I was concerned that was the final nail in the coffin.

I have talked to hubby about us but he doesn't want to deal with anything. I have pretty much moved the majority of my personal belongings to my parents home.

I want so bad to be out of this situation. I am so scared of the backlash when I do file for divorce. I know there are others out there who were/are scared like me but I feel so alone. Also, I am going to have to start over and that scares me too.

I thought about doing one of those "do-it-yourself divorces" but I wonder how long it would take to get everything done. Has anyone here tried that? Also, how much does it usually cost if you go see a lawyer and let he/she do the divorce for you?

I apologize for rambling on and on but I needed to vent.

Thanks for reading all this................

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