Divorce Support Forums: trying to stay strong

I just read your reply and am so blown away by how it made me feel. A slick salesman! Wow so true. I just found this forum and signed up and started reading everything. I have been sucked in and spit out on a daily basis by soon to be ex-husband. Your words are giving me the strength to take control of this evil situation and move on. I have NEVER felt so bad about myself. 3 months ago I got hit for the last time-I put the farm up for sale, he used me to get his property in Idaho which has a cabin he is living in and has conveniently found his next victim-I so want to find her and tell her NO! DON'T He's going to hurt you. I've always been a strong person except for when it came to him. We have no children, he signed a quit claim on the new house I bought for me and the animals and has continually beaten me up in e-mails for things I had no idea bothered him. Thank you, thank you for your words, you are a very smart person and I no longer feel so alone. I have a good job as an engineer and have been barely able to function since finding out about the other woman. These men, nothing I ever did would or could satisfy him. In 8 years of being together I was hit a total of 20 times and had to drive him home after a hissy fit at a hospital when I almost died after a surgery. He would be so charming after an incident, he thinks his new friend has been sent to him to be her guardian angel. She's partially crippled and has money. He's plotting his next victim. She won't be able to fight back, how convenient, how scary. When I tried to take control of our relationship and be strong he became vicious, so I would back down and submit. Good doggy, now sit down and shut up-that's how I've felt all these years. Some days were so bad he would take out his shotgun when the dogs ran away and point it at them to shoot them. I'd scream at him and he would say he was going to shoot a pigeon. So psycho and yet I stayed thinking I could help him and he would see what a wonderful person I was that I was worth it. He stole my child bearing years, he stole my money and tried to steal my soul. This has been so emotionally draining and yes I have begged to make it work, but after reading all these blogs what was I thinking. He keeps saying he's going to come back for x-mas to be with us. Today I e-mailed him and said don't that it was over, I sent a link for the divorce proceedings and expect an e-mail that will be sweet and endearing as if none of this has happened, this has been like a vacation for him. No, you helped, all of you have helped to give me the strength. Thank you

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