Divorce Support Forums: boundaries

I am married have two bio children and two step children. We have all four now but no child support from bio mom since she wouldn't agree to change paperwork to show father has residential custodian to both children and we don't have the money to fight her about it. And basically father says that it is more important to have his son with no money from her (since this is the only way she said he can stay with us) then it would be for him to have to worry about sons well being with her. I agree but disagree, while we are doing ok and making our bills - we are now paying for four and she isn't paying anything towards her sons. Now I have found out my youndest son has a medicial problem and will need to be followed by a physician and will need medicine. This adds up on top of the already bills. I feel like this is unfair and need to know what other people have done to set boundaries. I don't want to play my kids vs her kids but come on I am doing for all of them and she is doing for none except for her usual email that says she will send something but can't EVER tell us when. What do I do? Tell them to call their mother when they need stuff? Then I am playing favorites and I said I wouldn't do that but I am at my wits end on this one.

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