Divorce Support Forums: cycle of violence

these are some interesting pieces, i need some advice or support or something. my wife and i are not physical with eachother, however, we have been equally verbally abusive to eachother... i think her more than me, but im sure she would say the same about me...anyway, what i can not take anymore is her using my 2 1/2 yr old son as a pawn against me both psychologically and emotionally. I love my son to pieces, as would any parent-he is the sun in my universe! the only reason i am still around her. she gets these wild ideas to leave for (in my book) no rational reason. granted they are safe wherever they go (neither of us do drugs or drink...were both cops actually) and return the next day. she constantly threatens to leave with him and always says shes going to take him bc im not deserving to be with him. there is so much she does so frequently, i cant even begin to describe it in words on here. i guess what im trying to say is that i have noticed a cycle with her/us and i can almost tell exactly when each phase is begining and ending. for me its a little hard to leave bc its not physical...eventhough everything i read says this is still violence and abuse. i wish i could leave her knowing i would win custody of our child. i really think that if i leave, she will (as i already see her doing it) start treating/talking to him the same controlling way. i feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. stay and be miserable with her and raise my son in a frictious/tense environment or leave, regain my sanity from her and hardly see my son and fear for his upbringing? and not to mention, she will be leaving the state (to the other side of the country) if we split up. i really dont know where to go from here or what to do? anything will help...
thanks
C

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