Divorce Support Forums: Forum Relationships

I won't hijack "What this Forum is for" but HK brought up and interesting topic: Dating fellow forum members.

I have a lot to say about Forum relationships.

In some ways they are like the relationships (forbidden) that pop up at AA meetings. Two hurting people, not really ready to date, comrades in arms due to both being dumped, find each other and intensely connect.

I have had two such relationships. The first (e-mail and phone only) was very early on pre-d. It flamed up quickly and faded just as fast. We were geographically and age-wise incompatible. It really hurt (ego bash) when it ended.

We have remained friends and our friendship has exceeded both our wildest dreams. We're each other's "go to" guy in matters of the heart. If I ever get married again, he'll be my best man. We advise each other on fashion, (well, me him) kids and dates, spirituality - everything.

The second lasted five glorious months. I began it as a lark. It was very improbable and I gave it no chance at all (given our differences). It brought me back to life and when it ended (we were at different places in our healing) I grieved.

We're back to being friends, though I think we may have a second act : )

I have seen a few Forum relationships go sour. One big thing to remember is not to publicly air your love affair & the details. That's very dicey and hard, when at the beginning you want to tell the world. It's horrible at the end when you want help from your friends here, but don't want to expose your "ex" to more pain.

Step carefully, have ground rules and things can be wonderful.

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The sweetest thing you'll ever see in the whole wide world is a happy girl.

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