Divorce Support Forums: Need some serious advice

I am a retired woman who married a retired man a little over four years ago. Two years ago, because of difficulties with a step-parent, my granddaughter came to live with us. She was 10.

Before she came to live with us, I had experienced a few minor occurrences of a very hateful temper out of my husband, but most of the time he was very loving and very supportive. I just never knew when that temper of his was going to rear it's ugly head.

When we got married, I had my own home in another state that was nearly paid for, a car that was paid for, a fabulous job that more than paid for what I needed or wanted, and what to me was a considerable amount of savings.

Well, we married, moved me down here, put my house up for sale, retired from job with no retirement benefits until I am 62 (which is still a few years off), and settled in. Within two weeks, I was asked if I would pay off his credit card, which was about $15,000. In hindsight, I consider myself naive.....because we married without a prenup and being a little old-fashioned, I thought what was mine was his and what was his was mine. To make a long story much shorter, he went thru all my savings, the proceeds of my house, and the balance of the life insurance from my second husband.

He's bought land and put it in his name alone...and dumb me said nothing. He has only a pension and his social security so he has little income, but I am reduced to no income at all now since I do not work here and there are few jobs that pay enough to support a household.

Back to the situation at hand......I've been experiencing blow ups against my now 12 yr old granddaughter.....he won't talk to her and when he does all he does is scream and insult her, tells her he doesn't like her, tells her that she has too much and only needs 3 changes of clothes in her closet.....in other words, he wants her to live like he did back in the early 1940's when he was growing up, hand to mouth. She's not permitted to participate in anything at school.....or visit friends, and recently she's been reduced to staying in her room from the time she gets home from school til the time she goes to bed studying, because nothing but an A is acceptable to him.

This child has been thru too much to have to go thru this. She's a very loving, giving child and it's ripping both of us apart by his attitude. Last night he told her to get out of his sight, he didn't want to look at her.....she was a spoiled brat.

I have decided in my own mind that I cannot live like this anymore and will be seeking a divorce. The problem is that this little girl cannot be taken out of the fray. I have contacted her father to see if she can go back to him until this mess is completed, and his wife refuses to let her come.

I am in a quandry. Since I have no place to take her and no place to live (outside this place I live in with my husband), and no job.......I don't know what my next step should be.

I know I have to find an attorney..and I realize he may have some suggestions, but my husband was born and raised here and knows nearly everyone. Yes, I am afraid of his temper. He's already proven to me he's capable of violence, although he has never struck me. My priority is the safety of this child.

Any thoughts or ideas???

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