Divorce Support Forums: Forum Relationships

"One big thing to remember is not to publicly air your love affair & the details."

Best advice around. Keep it private. There are many people on these forums who know both of you, and may have opinions to offer if they know there's a hook up going on. Also, sometimes there are jealousy issues with other forum members as well. Best to keep it to yourselves.

It is hard when you want to shout it to the world....and you're happy, but I've seen a few relationships take a nosedive, and when it's done in a public domain....then it's just uncomfortable for everyone.

And above all, as Boo once said.....remember that most of us that are in a place like this are not in the best emotional health right now.

To grab on to someone that's still in the process of their own healing, and then expect them to help facilitate yours, as well as carry the weight of a new relationship...is like two drowning people who don't know how to swim taking turns dragging each other under the water, trying to survive. It seems like a good idea at first, but you realize as time goes by, that you need time to heal and be whole on your own before you're really ready to take the plunge. Learn how to swim first! lol

And always understand that there is a lot of baggage coming out of a situation like this. Respect each other's journey. Cut each other some slack when past issues resubmerge, and learn how to communicate in a way that doesn't tear each other down. Be understanding, but realistic. And open and honest. No matter what.

And be careful about throwing the "L" word around. It's wonderful to hear, but make sure that you mean it if you're saying it. There are a lot of wounded souls that have taken a serious hit because they thought these words carried more weight then they actually did. Meet in person if possible. Get a clear picture of who you both really are, and if you're really compatible in the real world.

The internet is a treasure trove of fantasy, but the intrusion of reality can be extremely painful.

Wait, wait, wait until you're sure you're ready. And then....get out there and show them what you've got! It can be an amazingly wonderful experience!

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Anne Marie
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Been there, done that, got the t-shirt:)

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