It is a good question, but it has no real answer and the kids know this. The kids know who the real parents are and who the other people we are not their parents. There are some kids have been broght up that STUFF matters Children no mater weather divorce is part of there life or not Kids want to be bought nice things and to taken to Disnland.
My SO Son just has a B-day and his mom took him out to buy him a flat screen TV, dinner out and a trip to Best-by The son stayed with his mom insted of comming for visitiation with his dad, His dad could only afford an par of pants and 1 shirt whee would you want to go.
You have to do what is best For YOUR Child Teach yor child that there is more to life that STUFF that PEOPLE is what Matter most and you wont go wrong.