My wife's been disabled more than 1/2 our marriage. Basically i guess it's just a pain all through her body and her foot. I cant tell you what is wrong, no one knows. But I've taken her to many doctors near and far and she wont get better. But what kills me is her poor attitude and unwillingness to even try things. Until recently i did 100% of everything but now that i said i may not want to stay married, she does some things like call the DR for prescriptions and maybe empties the dishwasher. What really gets me is that when she is sleeping she gets all pissy that i may want to go out and have lunch etc with a friend. I take care of her at home but she resents my able bodiedness i guess. I also feel if she can do what she is doing now, why didnt she do it all these years when she was admittedly in better health? So makes me wonder if ive been a sucker.
Basically i feel bad for her and pity her. I do wonder where she will wind up if i leave. She cannot stay here in this house alone, it's logistically impossible as she is totally dependent on someone and there is literally no one around to help her.
So what keeps me here is the pity, the guilt and the likelihood of paying permanent alimony. But i'm to the point where im ready to take a dip and ask what she would want if we split. Obviously this will really upset her and i dont know the outcome. But i feel that i need to know where i stand and this is the only way to do it. I'm pretty sure there is no way she will ever voluntarily leave here. I do too much for her and i hate to say it like this but if i was really mean, i could pretty much do anything i wanted here and i dont think she would leave. I treat her too well.
So my feeling is i dont have the right reasons to stay here but yet i feel bad about leaving her all helpless.
-------------------- call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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guilt and pity? reasons to stay?
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