Divorce Support Forums: Collaborative divorce or not?

My husband (2nd marriage, no kids) of 7 years is living/working in Malaysia permanently with visits back home for one week every 6 weeks or so. Our marriage is in name only. We own a house in San Jose, his 23 year old step-daughter still lives at home and is financially dependent on us.

We've discussed divorced since I discovered his siphoning cash out of the larger checking account his pay is deposited to, in addition to a secret bank account he opened there in Malaysia. He is offering me sole equity on the house plus $30,000 in our joint savings. He earns $270,000/annually, I earn $80,000/annually. He has $300,000 in two 401K plans, I have $95,000 in two 401K plans.

My husband has a history of pathological lying so he can't be trusted, but I know that he wishes to avoid an acrimonious divorce with divorce lawyers. Even though my husband will end up paying for the attorney's fees, I prefer not to "waste" money on a long, drawn out divorce process. However, friends and family think I'm crazy to not retain my own attorney. I did my own divorce the first time around with no problem (I worked in law for 8 years earlier). Do you think collaborative divorce is the way to go or am I crazy f or trusting my husband's offer with his trust issues?

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