Don't even know if you are out there any more and I really don't have advice for you but I wanted to let you know that I think it is wonderful that you love your step daughter so much....Children can never have too many people loving them....I would definitly try for custody...... the father might even let you.....If not.....keep in constant contact with her if at all possible... Its true the children usually suffer from our mis-deeds in marriage....... Good Luck!