Divorce Support Forums: Is this going where I think it's going?

I am contemplating divorce. We have been together for 14 years, 4 kids-8,6,4,2. We have had severe financial problems. While I stayed home and took care of kids, he just did the minimum and never earned enough. Changed jobs, made excuses.
He's currently working but still isn't enough. He won't save or come up with a plan. He just spends what little money we have on stupid stuff like Ebay. I started direct sell along with major personal development work. I love being independent contractor but it takes 12-24 months to really pick up. I know I will do well financially. I am a great saleswoman and I love it.
We don't have anything in common, just kids and church. I think we're just roommates. Reminds me of college. We don't really communicate--he never wants to talk about anything like that. He won't do counseling although I have started counseling myself. He thinks he knows everything already and will just control everyone and everything.
We don't own a house, 401K, cars and all our furniture is used junk.
I can't imagine being without him but if I stay with this man, I'm afraid I'll wind up on Medicaid because he'll spend my money and my daughter will marry someone like him. YIKES!
I thought about confronting him with the option of divorce if he doesn't pull it together. But that's a manipulation to get him to change. He'll probably just get mean and nasty. And he can be really mean and nasty.

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