Funny how quickly someone can find stuff like food, shelter, support, when they need to. She'll be fine.
THe fact that you couldnt' say the D word is not horrible. Your ex was challenging you to say a really nasty word straight to her face when you were prepared to try to be nice to her, and you've not really faced teh fact that this is a DIVORCE. We have such an emotional attachment to that WORD. The face is that you have determined for your own sanity that you have to live separate and apart from her, without letting her suck the life out of your finances or future, and that if you do, maybe she'll start to stand on her own two feet... and that is what "divorce" is defined as in your situation... it does NOT require that you say the word, but that you have the intentions. The word scares a lot of people, and it will come to you eventually. As it did for you when you saw the vindictive thing she's done... it doesn't matter that she would return the money if she could (like why CAN"T she? Has she SPENT it already?)... but the fact tha this was her reaction to knowing there was trouble in the marrige... not to try to do as you've been asking her to do, but rather to try ot take money from your ability to access it... that's just NASTY. And of course you were able to say the word after she did that.
It'll get easier. The word is really NOT as magic, it does not hold any magic curse or anything.
And as for her telling you about falling... you've got to steele yourself for it to become more frequent. Even if she does NOT fall more frequently, she seems to think that being pathetic is what will hold onto you, so she'll become as pathetic as humanly possible to tug your conscience into wanting to stay and help her. It's a nasty, underhanded tactic, but she's been doing it for a long time so expect it to just get worse.
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Re: Ladies, should I be mean afterwards?
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