I stay back, let my husband do ALL the dealing with her (heck, I MAKE him do all the dealing with her, not like he wants to figure it out, talk to her, or have to do it)... but he is the one who married her way back when, and pro-created with her, so there is no reason I have to deal with her when she's unreasonable.
If I were you, I'd tell my husband that I'm not informing the woman of the kid's activities any more, and if he wants to, he can, and otherwise she can figure it out from ... well, she can talk to the kdis or contact the teachers or whatever, IF she cares to go to the stuff that you are doing with them that she didn't put them into immediately, herself.
And I guess it doesnt' seem like too much of a choice, to me. I mean, when you DID tell her, she went nutso, so ... it would seem NOT telling her would be your only option. And if she dares complain, the response is, "well, you went nutso when I did tell you, so I stopped telling you about it. If you wanted to know, you'd ask, but rathe rthan make you furious again, which you should know hurts the girls, I just stopped."
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