Divorce Support Forums: HELP, need book recommendation

Gigi, they ARE interesting ideas. And the hard part is figuring out from the child's response, IF s/he is actually being actively alienated, and to what extent (bashing, badmouthing or brainwashing). Hearing your child say things such as "Dad says <insert negative comment about Mom>" is alarming, and during the time of divorce when you're already on pins and needles, it helps to be able to scope the level of the offense.

Furthermore, there are cases where a targeted parent, by his/her behavior is actually responsible for the alienation. I would have never considered that as a trigger for a child to turn against a parent.

I'm on my second read of the book, as is my partner, each of us with different colored highlighters so that we can come back and discuss HOW to handle the various things we encounter with my daughter.

I HIGHLY recommend the book, if for no other reason but to be able to assess the child's behavior toward [you] the alienated parent. In other words, involving a professional to assess the child's behavior, when the child displays affectionate behavior (as mine does, in spite of the fact that we hear that she's not supposed to "like" me and/or my partner), well, it's NOT considered the severest form of alienation. However, the tips and "Take Action" sections of the book have provided us various techniques to work with her... one step at a time.

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