Divorce Support Forums: Help me, help my dad. Please

When she left I spent the first year reaching out to her trying to understand "her side". Every attempt to be there for her was shot down very cruelly. When she first left she wouldn't give anyone, including him a straight answer as to why and when she realized she wasn't going to garner any support with her methods she began to pull out one lame excuse after the other as to why she couldn't come home. Including taking care of the ailing brother of an internet friend she moved in with. She told us that she promised this dying man to be there with him until the end and that she would come home when he died. He passed away six months ago and yet she is still not home. Sad that the promises she made my father were so easily thrown aside. For years he supported her and saw to her every whim. He went to work everyday and when his check came he gave it to her and she gave him an "allowance".
Through her cruel words and actions towards me, my husband, my father, and the rest of the family she has alienated herself. She is all he has ever known, the love of his life, his only friend and he is having a hard time admitting that she isn't the person he thought she was. (As much as he says it to himself, the head and heart don't often see eye-to-eye) It's really too much to get into on the forum and has nothing to do with the advice I am seeking. I do appreciate what you're saying but she is a manipulative liar. My sister raised me and was the mom that my birth mother couldn't and wouldn't be.

I love my mother and always will even when she stomps all over me. I just want my dad to be able to enjoy the remainder of his life after spending so much of it loving and taking care of a woman who in the end just doesn't care about him or her family. Everything he did, he did for her and in return she broke his heart. The only thing he is guilty of is loving a woman who only loves herself.

She thrives on being the victim and being in control. She lied to my 10 year old nephew to get money out of my father. It is very telling when a person lies to a child to get what they want or uses the child for their own selfish needs. My father lived his life for her and all it's gotten him is a whole lot of heartache. But I digress, I could go on and on listing the messed up things she has done.

In closing, it's not about taking sides for the sake of taking sides or taking his side because he didn't walk out. It's about supporting the parent who gives a shit about his family, the siblings who still live at home can attest to that.

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