When you are pro per (representing yourself), the other party's attorney should respond to you in the same manner as if you were an attorney. Intentional delays and refusing to work with you is called failure to negotiate in good faith and is against most court's local rules. Once you notify your attorney you wish to represent yourself, he/she will inform the court and your STBX's attorney. Then the STBX's attorney should work with you. You can ask for mediation but if your STBX refuses, you cannot make him/her and neither will the court. Mediation only works if both parties are willing to negotiate and work out their divorce issues equitably. If, after trying, you both decide mediation is not working and you want to continue forward with a trial, then you both can retain attorneys at that time to prepare for trial.