Divorce Support Forums: women: is there any answer that would comfort you?

[quote]after having read you story (at least 3 times) I have to ask you why you feel the need to "soften" the blow?
Your wife is the one who needs to get up off her sorry butt and find a life.
I have to ask; what are the chances she is addicted to pain medication? As for her smoking? How could you stand to live with ANYONE who smokes?
I would get filling A.S.A.P!! If she wanted this marriage saved, as she claims she does, she would have been in counseling YEARS AGO!!
You are entitled to have a life that you are happy with, and from what i read; you are not happy at all!
Another thing I want you to remember; Alimony is negociable!!! sounds like she thinks she will be sitting on her butt collecting money from you. You must protect your rights to make sure you pay as little as possible.
If she is truly disabled and can't work- it should be documented by a real doctor.
Get filling and go on with your life- she needs to grow up and be an adult.
and yes, I am a woman!!
Tractormom [/quote]

I guess it shows you that i'm a bit ill myself :) I dont want to be mean to her. And she's been totally helpless for all these years, never paid bills or anything and being independent is gonna be a real shock to her system.

i've many times thought she is addicted to drugs. She was a heavy drinker when i met her and i know smoked pot with her friends. So doctors giving her stuff now isnt a good idea but what can i do? And even if i make a case that she's been doubling up on her prescriptions all these years, doesnt that actually make her case STRONGER that she has some kind of disablity? I do know i can make a case for the D that i've seen her fall asleep with a cig in her hand and that's a big reason i dont want to stick around and watch her die.

regarding doctors, she gets her 2 shrinks so sign off on her social security and since the depression continues, she keeps on getting it. Also our auto company did an IME a few year ago to keep on paying her bills and that doctor said she still needs care physically.

so while she only has one test that proves a pinched elbow, she is in so much pain she moves like a 100 yr old woman and every doctor will 'certify ' she is disabled.

of course id argue her sitting on her butt all these years contributed to it but is anyone really gonna take that into account?

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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.

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