Yeah, those are legitimate concerns and they mess with your sense of security for the long-term. Ouch. The alimony situation can and should be reevaluated when you and she enter retirement. Problem is, you don't know what sort of relief, if any, you'll see there.
There are no immediate answers. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to do the planning. The only way around that is in your head. And so, yeah a support group is your immediate need. Keep looking, I'm sure it's out there. And if not, invite some friends over, play poker and create one.