Divorce Support Forums: Parenting Time Consultant

If you are asking about father's rights, of course you're going to get them to shut down. They're supposed to be neutral and if you're looking for someone who is not, who is going to be biased in your favor, then you're ...

Look, a lot of the time it seems like you're being a bull in a china shop. Even if they ARE biased in favor of fathers, there's no way they're supposed to SAY so. THe way to say it is to find out if they are FAIR, NOT if they are active in promoting father's rights (or mother's rights, either).

The way to talk to THEM is to ask about thier background, thier interests, are they are parent, have they been divorced, have they got any publications (and could you read them). WHat is their fee arrangement and do they expect the fees up front or can you be on a payment plan. And if they feel that something is going wrong for the kid, what kinds of things would they do they do about it to fix it (hopefully NOT withdraw from the case & leave you to start fresh elsewehre)?

And then look at their background and see if it makes sense that they're sensitive to being FAIR about father's rights. Especially if they're interested in an issue of yours.

When my husband was asked for a name, he looked at the options. He knew that one major issue in thier situation was going to be wrong-minded priorities being taught by the mother, who prefers sports over homework, and has the kids' college hopes pinned on sports scholarships without regard ot the fact that thier grades & test scores might not get them admitted to any colleges at all (because she refuses to teach them how to discipline themselves to do thier homeowrk, and overbooks them so that there's no study time in the day, and does not provide supervision other than to get them to & from their sports obligsations and make certain they show up to school at least a few times in the week (if there's no tournament out of town to take them out of school to attend).

So when my husband was looking at the options, he saw one who was asian (sorry for the stereotype) who had the highest level of professional degree among the local coordinators, who was known for giving seminars on the topic, and after asking around, found out that this man does support parents who are being strict on homework issues. THAT is the one he chose. Despite that his prices are some of the highest around. Despite that his manner is a little gruff and more business than "supportive", and DESPITE that he would have been VERY brusk if anyone ever suggested that he was a "father's issues" type coordinator. He prides himself on being unbiased and would be offended if anyone asked him to be anything else.

But when one of the kids' grades went into the toilet, this man was willing to change the parenting plan to the point where my husband was to see that kid EVERY DAY after school for studying, and the kid as not allowed to go to his sports until his grades were up.

THAT is how you figure this out... not by going to them and asking if they'd please be biased in your favor. No quicker way to insult a consultant than to ask them if they can be biased for you. No quicker way to lose your case than to act as though this is how you think business shoudl be done.

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