Divorce Support Forums: Help or Hurt

"He wouldn't let me leave, He took the expired tag off our car and bent it up in front of me and the police."

Does this sound like an emotionally abusive husband? Of course it does. But why doesnt anyone ask why he did those things?
She was going to pawn some items to go buy drugs, drive 60 miles to sell them and return to buy some more.
That is the one sentence answer. Is he still emotionally abusive?
Here's some background: We met four years ago and she was a 35 year old who abused meth IV for 15 years, lost her son to state custody when he was 3 and was still in and out of it 4 years later. I was 36, divorced and had a successful real estate career (160K+ per year) when we met. I looked at drug addicts as a hinderance to society and myself, while I had tried various drugs before, had been addicted to only cigarettes. While it is a long story as to how we ended up meeting let alone married let me say that I love my wife and step-son (I never refer to him that way - he's always called me Dad and I tell all he's my son) more than life itself. After we met, we married and had our son home fairly quickly and she was clean from the day we met until 16 months later. I left my career and as she began college I started on a Master's degree. A's and B's is what she made for a year until she met an active meth abuser on campus. We had a storybook life and our son was so happy until then. She started out binging once a month or so and lie after lie built up slowly. Why would she give all this up for drugs?
Fast forward to now: 6 months ago she had an affair with a dealer, our son was 10 and was on probation, I am very sick (physically and emotionally), and severely physically disabled. She is now using unless she's sleeping for 2 or 3 days straight, I am raising our son from bed and I am way past what some call a breakdown.
That is when she demanded the keys to our car with expired tags, the opening of my post happened and she tells this to the staff at a battered women's shelter where she has been with our son for a few days now - she told me over the phone. She's served time for this same thing before we met besides myself and my few friends (they ran off long ago) all she knows is these 'friends' that are all meth users.
By the way, it may be weird for a guy to post here but I am an abuse victim. Our son has watched her push me down, full-fist punch me in the face and say the most evil and vile things.
It is probably obvious what I should do: get that kid out of this to safety. It's not that easy. Like I mentioned he is my step-son so I have no legal recourse to bring him home. With the DHS history - if I called - they would grab him in a second but for good this time and my wife would probably go back to prison. As it stands she is trying to reason with me over the phone why she has to continue to deal (and use) meth. I am so absolutely devastated that my son and her are not here but made it clear that it was cold-turkey and rehab for her and our son comes home or (cringe). Knowing only half the story she has all these workers at the shelter telling how we have a "bad relationship" because I am an "emotional abuser."
I know the consensus here will be that I should make sure first of the child's safety. I feel that in the shelter he is faily safe for now and if I do find out he is not there I will contact DHS. I don't want to ruin his rediscovery of how great life can be by placing him back into the foster care system until I am sure there are no other options. She says that they "have to stay there 5 days" and that my son has been begging to come home. I have a few days until then and thought maybe someone could give me some - well whatever it is that someone would come to a support board for. Sorry for the long post but realize that this is just a sliver of the story.
Thanks

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