I'm sorry you have to be going through this. As for some of your questions: I could be wrong but until she gets a paper from a lawyer or judge stating that she has exclusive use of the house, then no you don't have to move out. If you want to file first then you would know what your right are. This emotional roller coaster is just now starting for you I'm afraid but believe me when I tell you that it gets easier. Don't panic, take a deep breath. Think about what you need and want. If you really really want to save your marriage, then suggest more counseling, give her space and then work hard on yourself and see what it is that she needs. You are one of the good ones to take such good care of your kids. It will all work out ok if you keep calm and try to sort through all of this muck. IF you want to save your marriage just wait about the lawyer, IF you want out, then see one to get visitation and custody things in writing. I'm sorry I can't be of anymore help than that.
-------------------- What is the future but a mirrored image of the past? Only we can make it better or worse!