I hear you smo. I feel like I've been a bit superficial as well, but I want to lust for my mate as well as love them. I will admit though that since the separation, I see different qualities in different women and I do find myself attracted to women that I may not have before. Like the date I had last Tuesday. The old me might have had second thoughts about it, but in all honesty, when I saw her for the first time, there was something about her personality that really popped. I feel like I have a more open mind about things now.........but trust me, hot sex will still be a requirement. The sex in my marriage was a bit boring.