Hello all..... I am in need of some advice here and really appreciate the help. Here is my story:
My wife and I have been together for 10 yrs., 8 of them married. We have a 4 year old child together and live in a comfortable home. Our marriage was great pre-kids...do not ever remember having any serious problems at all. Once we had our child we focused all of our energies on our little one and of course our life style changed. During the first two years with child my wife stayed home and raised our son while I worked and tried to support the family. After that we decided to move into a bigger home which required my wife to go back to work part time to help ends meet. She is a very smart woman and once she started working, her employer noticed her capacity and offered her more hours until eventually a year ago she went back to work full time. During the last year she started to focus a lot on work and herself. She seemed to kind of check out in a way on her family life and started turning into a person that I did not quite know. She started going out with the girls on the weekends, occasionally at first but then turned into every weekend. Meanwhile I just tried to be a good provider and father as that is what I thought she wanted in a husband. Eventually we had a discussion about all of this and she told me that I was not fun anymore and that my idea of a perfect wife is someone to sit on the couch next to me. She also mentioned that she was kind of confused and not happy at times in our marriage. I asked her if there was someone else and she said NO point blank to my face. We decided we were going to do everything in our power to make the marriage work. Well a week and a half ago I discovered some emails to the owner of the company she works for basically unveiling an affair. She was/is obviously emotionally tied to this guy by the contents of the emails. They also reveiled her true thoughts on some of our close friends that I never even knew about. After confronting her on this she told me that it was only a stupid kiss as they both realize that it was not a smart move. During the heat of the moment she decided to leave and stay with relatives. Since she left we have been trying to juggle our little one and all of my world is crumbling down. We basically had a meeting a few days after the blowout and she told me our marriage was too far gone to save. We have spoken since and are both in counseling right now for ourselves. She will not let me know if she is coming back or not. As of now I think her plan is to continue counseling until she can find herself and remain seperated while that happens. I love her very much and she was basically my life for the last 10 years. I am willing to accept what has happened and want to try to do marriage counseling with her. She just wants her space. Do any of you have advice on what to do in this situation?