So many things -- first - congrats on having a nice meal with ANOTHER women. That is a good thing. Just a meal. That is all it was. Nicely done.
Second -- nice job on being open with her and yourself. You are NOT ready for any sort of relationship yet. You are still spinning. You need to get your bearings before you can move on. You did the right thing being open. I am proud of you.
Third -- FILE AND GET OUT!!! You have put in your all. You are letting the ex (notice not STBX -- EX) run things. You have let you delay and even prevent you living your life. It is time.
Fourth - after you file (and even before ... like now) focus on healing. Finding your stable ground. Finding YOU.
-------------------- Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss