In my case it wasn't a matter of getting/keeping it up. It was "i know you want it and I'm going to get something for it". Yes - I wanted it - and many times did it for the release and personal satisfaction. I realized I was becoming a user - because it was for physical release only. My love for her was gone. When banging her I was thinking of someone or something else. I never cheated on her. Then was the emotional penalty... her making me pay in many ways. I shut down as far as doing her - my hand was more satisfying. Of course it was my fault - but did she take any initiative ? no - that's not her responsibility - that's the man's job. Lot's of men want to bang her - I should feel lucky. Well... they can have her.