If she is not willing to make an attempt at a joyous and prodcutive (within her limitations) life, then she has broken part of the vows she made to you. [/quote]
last night she brought up about vows again. I said well if i was such a bad hubby, closing you out of my feelings, being depressed, not encouraging you, being mean etc...why do you want to stay. She said because of her vow in good times and in bad. NOw i wasnt smart enough at the time to say what if i started drinking and hitting you would you stay? but i wondered what she would say now.
She did say that i am condemning her to a bad life (back with her family and says no one will want her in a wheelchair) but i dont think that is a reason to stay but couldnt tell her that because i think its mean.
i did say her depression and unwillingness to try to get better is what got me and even if i was totally unsupportive, she should wanna get better for herself! So yes i feel guilty for condemning her to a sucky life but is that guilt a reason to stay? my therapy dude says no and so do i. She says she will miss me and knows when she leaves she will never see me again and that really bugs her. She said she just wants to make sure i'm happy after she leaves.
-------------------- call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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Re: guilt and pity? reasons to stay?
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