Is there still hope? Yes, I think there is. But it would take alot of hard work on both parts to make a go of it. I think your admitting you are controlling and seeing your part in the demise of your marriage is a big step. Yes, it takes to to make it work or to let it die. Probably the first thing you should do it go to counseling by yourself and show her that you are serious about becoming a better person. But the only way it can work is if she wants to stay in the marriage too. I guess only you and she know if there is anything left to salvage. I sure hope so...there is always so much devastation when a marraige ends.
Whew it is tough to sit there all night when she is out, and she is wrong to expect that of you. If she needs her space, then she should keep you out of it!! And as long as you are still married, she needs to respect that too, and behave herself until she IS single again. I have been in your shoes....only it was my husband who was controlling, not me (though obviously there were 2 sides to the story). He was out running around, and I was home wondering where he was. I know the pain it causes, it is hell. I hope you can pull yourself together and rise above it all.
I too sat in the dark and cried for hours. Please don't do that anymore. It only makes you feel worse. Try to get a grip and get out and move and see your friends, and do something. You will go crazy dwelling on it. I know it is on your mind 24/7, that is pretty natural at first....but trust me, it will get better in time. You cannot be responsible for her actions, but you are responsible for your own.
You will make it. Everyday people go through this and survive. You have lots of friends here, and lots of us have been where you are now. We are all here to help you.