Divorce Support Forums: hating it

She told me yesterday at breakfast as she was crying that she never thought we would be at this point... I love her so much.. day 2 of not having it in me to go to work... I cant quit thinking about her.. I miss having her next to me at night.. I miss having my best friend to talk to.. She has new friends from work that she has been going out with a lot lately mostly Saturdays.. It seems that she is so happy at the moment.. She has alway been very good at hiding her feelings.. BUT the happier she seems the more crappy i feel.. I have no motivation.. I usually am an extremely positive upbeat kinda person.. totally don't feel like myself... I can't quit crying.. You know at one point about four years ago i felt the same way she has been describing that she feels...didn't know if i wanted to remain married.. was unsure if i loved her..but i didn't run away like she has.. i stuck it out.. she always dwells on negative.. never has been supportive of me on anything i do.. I started working for myself around 7 yrs ago.. two months into it she wanted me to quit because it was a struggle.. i said give me more time... she reluctantly did.. within 6 months i was making 6 figures and all of the sudden she was a believer.. well five years into it my contracts got cancelled because i refused to do some work that i would have lost a bunch of money on... we lost everything we had.. she acted like she hated me.. So i set out to start another business... janitorial.. it was hard the first year... second year i took on a partner... things started to get better slowly but surely... still she was the unbeliever and pressured me to get a job... I told her to hold off.. i have some things brewing at the moment and if they pan out things will be fine... Nov of 07 she gave me an ultimatum, me or your stupid business... I chose her and sold my share to my partner... 3 weeks after that an account that i was trying to get he got.. 80,000 a year account and more was coming... i was devastated.. resentful... she told me that was ok because she was embarrassed to tell people that i cleaned toilets for a living... but i been delivering laundry for past 4 months...what's the difference... Why do i still love her so much knowing she hasn't supported me on anything.. Why does it seem that i am having more trouble than her.. Why can't i just move on like she apparently has...

Post Extras