Divorce Support Forums: hating it

First of all, there is nothing wrong with scrubbing toilets or janitorial work or delivering laundry. It is an honest living.

Sounds like there have been some bumps in the road along the way. But then, there is in every marriage. This is so fresh to you and the pain is just so overwhelming. In the beginning it just contols your life. I don't know if either one of you should do anything drastic (like file for divorce yet). Maybe you both need a little time and space. Try to focus on getting yourself together and dealing with daily routines. You said she is happy "at the moment"....but what happens when the new world she is hanging out in gets old like everything else does? And it will, because that is the way life is. When I look back now, I see how I so wanted my husband to move home again, at any cost! Now, I think, it would have been the same old thing, same problems, same issues. I am glad he didn't move back. Now after 4 years, he wants to come back, and it's not going to happen. I have come to like the life I have now. It took me awhile to get here, but life is good again. I have done alot of soul-searching, had alot of counseling, and some spiritual guidance. It all happens in small steps, but one day you will look back and think, wow, I have come along ways! I am not going back to that place where I thought I needed him to survive. I like that I have found peace within my self.

So Please know that you can survive this. Don't rush into anything. Maybe you can work through this and maybe not, but know that it will get better. My counselor told me to quit trying to understand WHY my husband did the things he did, and focus on going on without him. It was good advice when I finally started listening. I hope you can find a good counselor to help you. It makes a difference.

I so feel your pain. Hold on tight and reach out to family and friends who will help you through this tough time.

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