I just went through this and the divorce was finalized, in Florida, two weeks ago.
About 6 months ago, things were going bad. We were both frustrated, saying things we didn't mean when our norm for about the last year was saying very little at all, seemingly out of fear of each other. I was seeking positive energy with the people I worked with, because I just did not get it at home anymore. Actually, I doubt my wife ever knew how to handle the workload of being the positive person and the entertainer in our relationship. When things got really stressful at my job, and I was emotionally burned out, I didn't have the energy to deal with anything when I went home. I didn't have the energy to be the entertainer anymore. All I wanted from her was a smile, a joke, or to throw her arms around me and to act happy to see me.
Anyway, she decided to ask me to leave around December. I found out in January that she had been talking to someone else for some time. I guess she's like a monkey who must have another branch in her hand before she lets go of the current one.
I know her wall went up because there was another prospect.
I tried everything I knew how to get us talking again, get us to counseling and even begged her repeatedly to not throw it all away. There definitely was a "wall" up. It was like I didn't even know her anymore, and that all the years I had put into the relationship were worthless and meaningless to her.
Now all I can think about is this other guy with her. The divorce is final, other girls have expressed interest in me, but I'm just not ready to do anything. She's really destroyed me in the way she's done all this.
I asked her not to do it on the day of the divorce. We both agreed our big problem was fear, but she had made up her mind already.