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Kingssman
Gold


Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 122
Loc: Peoria Illinois
Re: Need Support
      05/16/08 10:52 AM (98.214.145.38)
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seems to me the two of you got some issues built up. Both of you do.

He's worried and scared because his heart is falling for another because he's lost something that he's trying to find. He's going through a pain too, thats why he talked about it.

Describing your situation you seem to suffer from lonliness and your only support is your husband. This was similar to my situation when I was lonly and the only person I had was my wife. What I developed was depression. Depression sucks the energy right out of you. You wake up wondering why you even bother getting out of bed. Depression killed my marriage because when I was depressed, I grew distant. so distant my wife jumped to another man.

The scary thing about depression is it's hard to know that you have it unless someone tells you that you do. Go see a doctor, a simple visit is $100 (sometimes less) they can start you on a medicine that can range from $15 to i dunno for a 30 day supply.

In the mean time, you and him need to sit down and have a talk. A long serious talk. There's nothing more painfull but healing than the truth. Be prepared to hear the truth, and also prepare yourself to speak it.

You are at a beginning stage of a breakup. This stage is crucial for counsoling, therapy, and re-bonding.

I missed my first stage to fix things. I let my depression allow me to let things slip by. As a result of my idolness I lost my wife to another man. Don't let this happen to you. see a doctor, talk to someone, find the source of your pain and expose it.

I had issues that ruined my marriage. I wasn't over the sudden death of my father and I too had no friends. I bottled these things up and it created distance between my ex and I.

You can be saved your marriage can be saved, now is the time for both of you to work together. You caught this early, very early, before it escalated to a point of no return.

Remember, he's conflicted too. and he cares and loves you too. Its time for the both of you to expose each others pain and weakness.

"for better for worse, through sickness and in health" this line of the vow means that your pain is his pain, and his pain is your pain. Identify that pain, identify the truth, and honesty will lift you. Truth and honesty is key.

Its better to be truthfully unhappy than it is to lie to be happy. My ex lied to me about her feelings to keep me happy. That was her mistake for keeping me in the dark so I didn't know to seek help. Had she been honest with me, all the time, shown me tough love. I would have seeked help and possibly saved my marriage. But too late is too late on my end thats why I'm here hoping to help others learn from my pain and experiance. (i so wish I found this site long ago)

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Need Support lubyloo 05/15/08 10:47 PM
. * * Re: Need Support phyzguy   05/17/08 06:09 PM
. * * Re: Need Support wildflower   05/16/08 04:34 PM
. * * Re: Need Support lubyloo   05/17/08 02:05 AM
. * * Re: Need Support Kingssman   05/16/08 10:52 AM
. * * Re: Need Support mrpat   05/16/08 11:02 AM
. * * Re: Need Support tiredofnagging   05/16/08 11:12 AM
. * * Re: Need Support ssrachel   05/15/08 11:08 PM
. * * Re: Need Support mrpat   05/15/08 11:04 PM
. * * Re: Need Support numbnms   05/15/08 11:10 PM
. * * Re: Need Support derkacz78   05/16/08 03:38 AM

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