Divorce Support Forums: Maintaining Friends

I keep seeing the same thing pop up over and over in peoples' stories. That their only true friend was their spouse. Why is this so common?

I know in my case, I didn't want to make friends only to be embarrassed in front of them by my stbx. So, I didn't really have any friends to speak of. Just my sister who live 30 minutes away, and some college girl friends I get together with 2x a year (girls-only outings). However, I would never admit to anyone we were having marriage difficulties because I felt like I was failing. Who wants to admit failure?

So, I kept all my problems to myself and they only escalated since my stbx basically told me they were MY problems. Not OUR problems. Counseling was out of the question for him. Harboring ill feelings can definitely cause you to become depressed and miserable. That's what my stbx told me when he asked for the divorce. That I was miserable. (well, I was! but he wasn't willing to work on anything with me!) Being married, and still feeling alone is a horrible existence.

I now realize that maintaining healthy friendships with other couples, as well as individuals is one of the keys to maintaining your marriage. And, admitting you're having trouble isn't the end of the world. Someone else might actually have gone through the same thing and be able to help you.

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