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Thank God, he has a perfect plan for you and death wasn't in it. I'm so very sorry. Times are hard right now, but I promise you things will get easier. Do you have children or family near by? Would you like to come stay in the country? Until you are stronger. Please don't ever try something that stupid again. Been there done that. I felt really stupid afterwards.
-------------------- I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.