Divorce Support Forums: How open have you been with your partner about sex

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Who is standing exposed for who and what they really are... YOU ...can't respond to legitimate questions instead of contrived ones?
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I'm not sure what "legitimate questions" you would like me to answer. If it is the question of "who stands exposed...", then I have already answered it; the answer remains you and all other women who insist that the divorce laws be biased in their favor. If the questions are the supposed "real" ones which you claim to have actually heard, then I don't know the answers. Perhaps you were simply naive at the time you divorced your husband, and thought that you could "do it yourself". Squeezing the life --and life's savings--out of a man in a divorce, is something which lawyers get paid a fortune to do and, although a "slam dunk" for women under modern divorce law, should never be attempted by amateurs.

As far as some of the supposedly child-abusive behaviour you described is concerned, there are three schools of thought about the most productive way to handle impudent, disrespectful behaviour by children toward their father. The "modern", liberal approach is to threaten a "time out". This may have some success if the parent has enough self-discipline to adhere to whatever this implies to the child, including loss of certain privileges. Unfortunately this method, of course, requires that the child be in the custody of the offended parent at all times--hardly the true scenario for a divorced man who seldom gets to see his child, is it? The other two approaches involve either a reasoned, methodical form of physical punishment --such as "spanking"--which would no doubt be amplified by the child in the retelling, while his own culpability is diminished. This really leaves only the type of frustrated, "at the end of his rope" behaviour you described, as the only viable alternative to allowing the child to behave in any way he may wish.

Yes, I have personally known of many scenarios such as the one described by "Uncle Joe" in my allegory. This very thing actually happened to my own uncle, when I was a child, and I actually asked my own mother the very question I phrased, hypothetically, to you. She answered that she thought that it was wrong, and that no one--especially a court or judge--had the right to assume that anyone owed anything to anyone else, and that everyone is not guilty, and not liable to anyone else, until clearly proven so. Of course, she had been raised in a time when people were taught morality and ethics as they grew up, and not to selfishly grab anything they can from people, even if a stupid law allows them to!

Any other questions?

Edited by jbar (05/17/08 01:10 AM)

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