Interestingly enough, of all the shame I live with, being a cheater is the least on the list. The biggest shame was not trusting my instinct that my X was a manipulative and controlling jerk and that on the numerous occasions I did leave - long before cheating ever crossed my mind - I didn't have the courage to stay gone. I believed the lies and bullsh*t and came back to try and try again, to only find myself right back in the same place I was before.
In fact, I can see now that I'm clean and OUT of that situation that my X was the one who taught me how to cheat, lie and manipulate beyond what I would have ever been capable of before. And I chose that lifestyle over my own sanity.
I think what cubsfan is trying to say has more to do with how cheating is perceived in such black and white terms, but every other wrong in a marriage is in a much more appealing shade of gray that will never compare. And unless you've actually lived it, just like I can't say I understand the magnitude of hurt of a victim who has been cheated on, one can't say definitively that the pain is more or less in the end. We must agree to disagree.
My X was a cheater, too - and not just in an emotional or physical capacity, but in just about every area of his life. If anything, his actions actually helped me hone my skills in that regard. It wasn't fun. I hated it, but in order to survive as long as I did, that's what it took to be married to him.
So when the X and I both stand in that light - having both cheated - where does that leave us?
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Re: When is it no longer poor taste?
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