Divorce Support Forums: I know youve heard it before, but help me out here

You're worst nightmares are about to come true. You're gonna pay for letting her be that lazy a$$. No the adultry don't matter. No you don't get to keep your lifestyle. Sams right about the overtime, in fact if that's not a great job it wouldbn't hurt you to be fired in the next two yrs. You're gonna be hit with close to 2K CS until the kids are old enough, that doesn't leave much for SS. My guess is CS plus small SS till the kids are old enough, and then she'll be back to modify and replace the CS with SS. No german it's not a fulltime job kids that age can feed and wash themselves. I don't know your age but if you're young enough to recover and you can give her everything for no SS you'll be doing yourself a big favor jsut to get rid of the leach.

Worst case you're looking at her being "short" 40K a year for how ever many years it takes for you to reach 67, plus she gets half your 401 & half the house. Less 1/2 the debts of course. add that all up. Add in any insurances and pension values. If you give her the house and the 401 for non modifiable 0 alimony how much would you get away still owing her, or could you keep some of the 401?

You will need an attorney to fight and forget about winning after 20 years. About all you can fight for is terms like if she gets a live in or remarries it terminates, a few conditions which she will be careful to avoid anyway. If you can borrow against your 401K you can pre-pay your top end lawyers, cars off, etc., get another place, reduce your income. Keep half for her safely, the court will probably order you to pay her lawyer. MAYBE if she sees that it will all go to the attorneys instead of her she will let you keep something. Sorry but it's up to her how it's going to go, you are just an ATM.

Mediation is your only hope, if you can remain cool because your gonna lose terribly here. Spend now on your kids and yourself, you won't have anything later regardless. Trade that Civic for a Lexus tomorrow, book that cruise with the kids, dinner at Ruth Chris, this is your last hurrah. Borrow or charge it she's gonna pay for half and the other half and anything left she'll get. You think it's hard to squeeze by now wait till you have two households to support on 2/3 of your salary and your savings are gone. You will either have to support her for the rest of her loose and worthless life, give it all to her now, go into underground economy, or fly the coop.

I hope you can mediate your way out and have some years left to rebuild, but something tells me you'll be posting again. Welcome to this little corner of he11.

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