"If you can negotiate an acceptable parenting schedule with joint legal custody, stop fighting, sign the papers and get on with life."
Oh I agree with you- who cares about a designation on paper, even though it does carry some legal consequences. I also agree with you if you can negotiate an acceptable parenting schedule why wouldn't you sign and move on? That assumes your dealing with a reasonable X, very often not the case with lazy, greedy or vengeful women. In my case she wanted everything and would not give an inch unless given no choice by court order. Anything not detailed in the order, and there is plenty, she interpets as she does what she wants.
My point is that your statement about joint custody being the norm, while true, does not mean that (sic:joint custody) rotating or even an acceptable parenting schedule is the norm. For those in litigation at least 92% of the time it results in "liberal" visitation (30%) or less. That "norm" is grossly unfair to good Dads and NOT in the childrens best interest.
I even think there comes a time to stop fighting for your kids, even with an abusive or alienating X. Eventually you run out of money and resources, time to spend in court from your job, and the constant vicarious pain of seeing the kids being damaged. Unless you're in that lucky 8% where the woman blew her case.
Get on with life, stay busy etc. all that's important and good, but every time I think about how the system put those kids where they don't want to be and where they are being damaged I feel bitterness and anger towards the X, the system, and people who rationalize and perpetuate the injustce of it all.
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